People often do not set high goals for themselves for certain reasons. These reasons can be reasonable or totally unreasonable. Some of the reasons go like “it is not for me”, “it is just the beginning”, “it is out of my league” or “it is impossible”. We do not understand that even if we fail, we have somehow achieved something. We have achieved experience, wisdom, knowledge, etc. we learn from our mistakes and these mistakes encourage us to do better. Aiming for something higher in life will only help us in the future.
Do you remember the positive affirmations our parents drilled into us when we were kids? They used to tell us to study hard, get good grades in school and college so that we can get a good job and subsequently a good life. They were creating a picture of positivity in our mind, which would help us work hard. They acted as motivators for us to do well in our studies. They helped make all our thoughts positive so that the end could be positive. Such affirmations assisted us in enhancing our performance in our studies. They tried to create a positive image of our future life, in our minds so that our body would automatically move towards that endeavor.
What is Positivity?
Positivity is the experience of feel good emotions. Some common positive emotions are gratitude, joy, love, amusement, inspiration and awe. Positivity comes into our lives when we do certain activities. For example, some people like to take long walks, by doing which they become positive. Still some others listen to music and become positive. Positivity is a result of good thoughts or good circumstances. This means positivity can result from both internal and external stimuli. Internal stimuli to experience positivity are gratitude, joy, etc. External stimuli are obtaining inspiration by looking at someone or reading about someone. Sports people who want to lift their performance resort to external stimuli for the same.
At some point in life, everyone faces criticism. The result of criticism depends on how the person reacts to it. It can both improve the confidence in a positive way and make the person better or it can lower the confidence and make the person stressful and worse. While everyone faces criticism, the way a person handles it makes all the difference.
Life has a way of throwing in difficulties when you least expect, knocking the ground off your feet. Unfortunately, there comes a time, when you might get weary with circumstances that you think it is not possible to rise. But as Vincent Van Gogh said, “What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” and that is exactly what you need do, to make an attempt and take actions. Most of the time, instead of taking actions, you choose to bury your head in the sand, hoping that the problems will solve themselves. In times like these, you need to develop a Just-Do-It attitude. The inability to develop this attitude has a possibility of resulting in regret later in life.
As childish as it seems, revenge can be very dangerous. Some people have a mindset in which they believe that revenge is the only way of attaining peace when we have been hurt or cheated upon. However, that is not completely true. We often get the feeling to avenge someone when we have been deeply hurt. The hatred that we feel inside us, the pain, and the treacherous heartbreak sometimes leads us into believing that revenge is going to solve all of our bad feelings that were the outcome of such hatred. We feel that it is going to bring us peace when in fact; it brings us nothing, but shame.
We have often heard the famous quote, ’Hard work is the key to success’ and it has been set to our minds from ever since we can imagine. But, through personal experiences, everyone has an idea that that quote is in fact, true. Nothing brings success like working hard for anything that we wish to achieve.
For a tree to grow, you require a seed first. But if you don’t water it and give it sunlight, it will never grow. The only plant that grows in arid areas is a cactus and you hurt yourself on its needles while extracting nourishment from it. The same holds true for relationships. It’s the easiest thing in the world to start a relationship. But there is a huge difference between a ‘relationship’, a ‘smooth relationship’ and a ‘prickly relationship.’ There is a saying, ‘As you sow, so shall you reap,’ and nothing could be truer of a relationship. It’s not something that grows by itself, stays engaging only because the seed is sown. A relationship is one of the most important things in our lives yet we take it for granted most of the time. We stop investing in people close to us and see it as a drain to constantly give to them when in actuality you’re reaping the rewards of it.
The golden rule says: “Treat others how you want to be treated.”
However, this saying goes beyond being considerate to people or going out of your way to be helpful to those in need. Instead of treating others the way you wish to be treated, think about others the way you wish to be thought of,speak to others the way you want to be spoken to, and feel about others the way you want others to feel about you.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
If someone believes he is doing the right thing by trying to become invasive in another’s life, first try to understand how that person feels his actions would reap a result. Then, help him evaluate the consequences or maybe choose a better way to achieve his goals and consider the goals of others. Always be a patient listener and considerate of other’s needs as well.
Feel about others how you want them to feel about you
Holding onto negative feelings will only destroy your inner peace and make difficult for you to feel love and compassion. Whether or not you bear responsibility in someone else’s harsh feelings toward you, knowing these feelings exist is unpleasant.
Speak to others how you would like to be spoken to
Do not speak disparagingly about anyone just because you disapprove of them. Everyone is different and cannot be fit into the box of our needs, comfort, and understanding. Speak well of others, a result of positive thinking that would positively affect your life. Don’t poison your mind by thinking negatively about others as it will affect you and your life more than the other person.
Make an effort to respect even the unrespectable
Find something in a person that is positive and focus on that. There might be circumstances in which you were the bad guy, and others made no effort to understand you, rather they went out of their way to demolish your reputation. Do not follow them ever, even if you feel it is just or deserved. You do not know what motivates other’s actions. All you can do is take responsibility for your response to the situation and choose to show respect when it is hard to find. Not only will this make you a better person, it will show others your true integrity and make it impossible to doubt yours if it is threatened in the future.
Think of others the way you would like to be thought of
Refrain from thinking, or speaking badly of someone, particularly if you feel you are better than them. Thinking of yourself as superior as or better than another person is not a positive way of thinking. If you would like to help someone you think is less fortunate, do it out of love and not pity.
Treating others is a culmination of your perspective and attitude towards other people. In other words, treating others positively brings happiness and helps forge useful connections leading to a good repute in the society.
“You are what you think. All that you are arises from your thoughts. With your thoughts, you make your world.” – Buddha
Thinking is a creative power. Your physical body is the manifestation of the use of your creative thinking ability. Hence, right thinking leads to right results. Your thoughts are the most important tool you possess to achieve your dreams. They affect you in several ways- good and bad. The truth is, whether you admit or not, your thoughts are responsible for whatever situation you are in right now. Your thoughts drive your life just as electricity drives a motor. Therefore, it’s of extreme importance to have the right thoughts and to not let negativity poison your mind.